Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City, MO
AL Wild Card Game
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome...to EARTH-2! An alternate universe in which your beloved Kansas City Royals bounced back from a near-certain elimination against your beloved Oakland A's to force a near-riotious extra-innings SACfest and win in exciting walk-off fashion to claim the AL Wild Card!
Meanwhile, on Earth-Prime, it was a different story altogether...as reported by esteemed MLBdotcom reporter Dick Kaegel:
Yes, on Earth-Prime, the Royals never recovered from the arguably Yostian shenanigans that obfuscated their chances of winning this crucial single game, and the Oakland A's emerged victorious.
There have been unconfirmed reports that this very same story was published on Earth-2 as well, before the Royals' comeback in the 8th and 9th innings to tie the game. Mr. Kaegel, formally known and respected as the winner of the Buckeye Newshawk award in both universes, simply gave up on the Royals at or around 10pm local time and decided to go to bed. When the story was submitted, and published on MLB's website, his editors phoned him frantically throughout the evening and were finally able to rouse him from his slumber just after 2am.
MLBdotcom Editor: "Dick! Wake up!! Hello?? We've been trying to call all evening!"
Dick Kaegel: "Uhmm...[snort]...rrr...[rustle rustle]...hrm...[sniff]...what the hell, do you know what time it is?"
MLBdotcom Editor: "YES...you buffoon...you posted the game story and the game wasn't over yet!! THEY WON!! The ROYALS WON!!"
Dick Kaegel: "Umm...[shrugs]...are you on drugs?"
MLBdotcom Editor: "Dammit, wake up, and fix this now!!!"
Dick Kaegel: "Hrmm...[sniff]...uh...[pause]...WAIT WHAT...they...WON?!?"
MLBdotcom Editor: "Fix this within the hour, or you'll live out the rest of your life in a pain amplifier!!"
Dick Kaegel: "Uh...[pours stiff drink]...they...WON?!?"
The fact of the matter is, some of us on Earth-2 were aware that something cosmically was quite possibly out of alignment:
If only we knew that on Earth-Prime, well...that just
didn't happen. And Dick Kaegel slept peacefully through the night.
Also, on Earth-Prime...this guy didn't happen, either.
On Earth-Prime, he was drafted by the Cardinals (who lost the NL Central Division title to the Brewers, and the Wild Card slot to the Pirates) and spent the entire month of September infusing finesse into his Fantasy Football team.
My scoresheets, using my new pitch-counting method! Read about
it HERE,
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